How are you feeling? Really?
And the real answer is - I feel fine! Boring but true! If it weren't for the extreme fatigue, I would be back to how I was before the treatment. The pain has shifted, but is manageable, and I am frustrated by not being able to do anything, but really I am fine.
Within myself, emotionally, I am also good. I get bored easily, and I am sometimes worried that my brain has suffered somehow from the frying, but that may be from not doing anything. It's all a crazy circle.
Did it hurt (the radiation)?
NO. That's the short answer. The longer one is that the last three treatments hurt a bit when the rays went over where had started to burn. But they don't stay in one place for too long, so it wasn't that bad, although I would not have wanted it to go on any longer!
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| It's a 1 |
Hmmmm - now that's a tricky one. Right now if I run my hand over the Fred area, it feels a lot bigger and tighter. The Dr said that I could expect some swelling, so I am sure that is what I am feeling. And of course I cannot feel the whole of the tumour, so it may have shrunk at the ends.
SO no real answer for that right now - but I am relatively optimistic and spend 'nap time' imagining my white blood cells as a pac-man operation eating away dead Fred cells. Fun, huh? Feel free to play along.
When will you know if it worked?
Ahhh - the million dollar question! Again not an easy one to answer though. I'll have an MRI the first week in April which is just a little pre-lim look see. We were told that if it looks good then, then it did a great job. But if it looks bad, then we'll just ignore it. Right.
The explanation for this? That we are expecting to see some swelling and damage from the radiation, so we ignore a 'worse' scan. But if it shows some improvement then it must be a big improvement to get past the fry damage. Make sense? No? It's OK, 'cos I get to have another MRI in July that will be far more reliable (because all of the SE from the radiation will have gone - they better have!!)
However - the radiation doc did suggest that we could see results from the radiation for up to 5 years because of how slow it grows. I think you can guess how well I took to that little piece of news!
So is that it? No more treatment?
That's it for radiation. You get one shot at one spot - so Fred has had all the frying that he's going to get.
The radiation oncologist does not suggest any further treatment. That would be some sort of drug therapy/chemo-ish treatment. I am leaning towards this to be honest, but I am waiting until the July scan before we make that decision. I'm not a patient person, friends, so this is hard for me. I wanted the radiation to just shrivel Fred up to a crisp - but we also know that I have a bit of magical wishing going on in this regard!
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| is killing Fred considered evil? |
What can I/we do to help?
Awww - thanks! But we are doing fine now. My BSF babes made us meals the whole way through, and after, treatment, and now we are getting through the stash of meals I had frozen before. SO that is taken care of.
Piet is also the world's best housekeeper (save for maybe his Mum!!) and he just does everything around the house. I am NOT ALLOWED to do anything. Truly. Sometimes I can get dinner ready, but that's about it. I'ma actually starting to feel a little bit useless.
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| I know, I know |
When will you be back to full health?
I so wish I knew. The doc suggested about 6 weeks, but I am having a hard time believing that could be possible. I was so optimistic - but it was that magical thinking again. I am trying to be good and sensible (!!!!) with my recovery, but it is so hard.
SO that's it folks. Seriously - if I didn't answer something, just ask me.
And just because I need a laugh...
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| but I know you know that! |
Hugs,
Megan
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