Wednesday, February 26, 2014
Monday, February 24, 2014
So I've started to peel
... also to pee - but didn't think that you'd keep reading if I put that in the title!
The peeling is in the sensitive area where your pubic hair (if you have any!) meets your leg - shall we call it the bikini line?And it's painful people, painful. Also - don't believe that story that it's like a sunburn. No way. More like the burn that you get when you sit in the oven for an hour! And rather than a red burn, this is a brown, burnt skin. Not fun at all.
And the pee? My poor bladder is not liking this last bit of radiation and is making it known by leaking all the time. I even had to buy Poise pads (Depends.) Humiliation complete.
The good news though, is that spring is almost here, I only have 2 days of treatment left, and my nails look fabulous! See -
The peeling is in the sensitive area where your pubic hair (if you have any!) meets your leg - shall we call it the bikini line?And it's painful people, painful. Also - don't believe that story that it's like a sunburn. No way. More like the burn that you get when you sit in the oven for an hour! And rather than a red burn, this is a brown, burnt skin. Not fun at all.
And the pee? My poor bladder is not liking this last bit of radiation and is making it known by leaking all the time. I even had to buy Poise pads (Depends.) Humiliation complete.
The good news though, is that spring is almost here, I only have 2 days of treatment left, and my nails look fabulous! See -
The bulbs in the front also pushed up through the ground this morning. It makes me happy. I'm ready for winter to be over and for the weather to warm up. More ready for the radiation to be over. It seems almost impossible to imagine what life will be like without the daily trips to the hospital. But I'm more than willing to find out! I'll have plenty of time in the mornings - come and visit me!
Until next time
Hugs
Megan
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Just 6 more to go!
This is one of those times where time is being a little unpredictable. Some times it feels like this radiation thing has taken forever - and other times it feels like it has flown. Now of course, that may depend on how I am feeling. I have noticed that when I am in a lot of pain, time seems to slow down. Funny that!
So what's been going on? Nothing but radiation people, nothing but radiation! I think that I may have 'peaked' with the fatigue. At least I am hoping that I have! I am always totally exhausted, but am finding it really hard to sleep. Go figure!
Some days I can muster up enough energy to get me through a little excursion with one of the beautiful babes who drive me - yesterday it was a field trip to Trader Joe's . Yes. I'm living the life here, living the life! (TJ's is a supermarket - apparently popular in other areas of the US and has just opened their first three stores in Denver. Yes - it IS very exciting! So I need to remind you that Denver is still a little "wild-west"ish???!!!)
My leg is just now starting to turn pink and getting a bit sensitive. That's making it quite uncomfortable to sit! Hopefully it doesn't get too bad - I'm not sure what we'll have to do then - I may become bed-ridden!Other parts are also getting more pink, if you get my drift! Not fun girls, not fun. (Not sure boys can understand the pain involved here - but use your imagination if you're game!!!)
This is what keeps me smiling ....
... my mantel of love! (Those are the roses from V-day from my man.) It's all the cards that I've received, and you can't see it, but there is a vase that now holds all of the little notes that you've sent me. (What? You haven't sent me anything? Hmmmm - I wasn't going to say anything, but..........!!!!) Whenever I start to get a bit sad, I just take a look and remember that I am loved - makes it easier.
So it looks like by next Wednesday I will be done with radiation. Done, I say. Done. DONE! DONE! Yep - pretty much counting down the minutes right now - I cannot wait for this to be all over.
Oh - and a lot of you are asking how we know Fred is shrinking, or how much he has shrunk, or if he is dead yet. The sad news is that we don't know. I'll have another MRI once I've finished treatment and that will give us a little bit of an idea. But the radiation can continue to work for another 2 years!!!!!!!! The story seems to be that since Fred is so slow growing, he is also slow dying. (I, myself, think that a bullet should have worked fine!!!!)
So there you have a quick little update - until next time loves,
Hugs
Megan
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| or in pain.... |
So what's been going on? Nothing but radiation people, nothing but radiation! I think that I may have 'peaked' with the fatigue. At least I am hoping that I have! I am always totally exhausted, but am finding it really hard to sleep. Go figure!
Some days I can muster up enough energy to get me through a little excursion with one of the beautiful babes who drive me - yesterday it was a field trip to Trader Joe's . Yes. I'm living the life here, living the life! (TJ's is a supermarket - apparently popular in other areas of the US and has just opened their first three stores in Denver. Yes - it IS very exciting! So I need to remind you that Denver is still a little "wild-west"ish???!!!)
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| it's such a hard life! |
My leg is just now starting to turn pink and getting a bit sensitive. That's making it quite uncomfortable to sit! Hopefully it doesn't get too bad - I'm not sure what we'll have to do then - I may become bed-ridden!Other parts are also getting more pink, if you get my drift! Not fun girls, not fun. (Not sure boys can understand the pain involved here - but use your imagination if you're game!!!)
This is what keeps me smiling ....
... my mantel of love! (Those are the roses from V-day from my man.) It's all the cards that I've received, and you can't see it, but there is a vase that now holds all of the little notes that you've sent me. (What? You haven't sent me anything? Hmmmm - I wasn't going to say anything, but..........!!!!) Whenever I start to get a bit sad, I just take a look and remember that I am loved - makes it easier.
So it looks like by next Wednesday I will be done with radiation. Done, I say. Done. DONE! DONE! Yep - pretty much counting down the minutes right now - I cannot wait for this to be all over.
Oh - and a lot of you are asking how we know Fred is shrinking, or how much he has shrunk, or if he is dead yet. The sad news is that we don't know. I'll have another MRI once I've finished treatment and that will give us a little bit of an idea. But the radiation can continue to work for another 2 years!!!!!!!! The story seems to be that since Fred is so slow growing, he is also slow dying. (I, myself, think that a bullet should have worked fine!!!!)
 |
| Ha!!!!!!!! |
So there you have a quick little update - until next time loves,
Hugs
Megan
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
The post with way Too Much Information
We're talking side-effects today people, and this is you warning! If you are male and don't like talking about girlie things (no pillow fights here boys!!), are a little "sensitive" (I'm not censoring this) or just don't care to know this stuff - now's the time to tune out!
**** Just a little bit about why this post: I couldn't find this information after all of my very careful searching on the blogissphere, and I wanted to know. Doctors are notoriously understated about this stuff - perhaps they are scared we'll run away screaming? Anyway - I thought this might be helpful for any of you that may unfortunately need some of this type of information. I would have preferred to have been prepared more than I was! **** (Sincerity rant ended!!)
OK - onto the nitty gritty (still time to run - I won't be offended!)
First off is the nausea. Ugh - some peeps had mentioned it, and apparently I have been hit with a pretty decent dose. The story from the Doc is that because I am being treated in a large area, my side effects are pretty large too. (There's a joke in there somewhere, I just know it. I'll get back to you if I can think of it!) The anti-nausea medicine is doing a fairly good job, but it just won't get me through the whole night. It's kinda like being pregnant again - except without the stretch-marks, 'glow' or hope of a bouncing baby at the end of the time!
OK - so for the sake of being downright truthful here, this has been the suckiest thing so far. Really. I cannot exaggerate this enough - I feel pukey most every moment of every day. And we are only one third of the way through. I have no idea how people do this and still manage to keep working - or just doing everyday things. It's gross and it's sucking my funness. Thank goodness I have my sunny disposition to fall back on (that was sarcasm peeps - it's getting hard to laugh this off - so you know it's getting bad!!)
Along with the sickness comes the fatigue. The doc tried to make this sound a little less brutal by calling it 'tiredness' - but this is life-sucking, "can't walk up the stairs" fatigue. Think of the last time you had a true, muscle-aching flu. Then multiply it by about 15. That should give you a bit of an idea of how tired I am. I am choosing to believe that's because all of my white blood cell "pac-men" are using all of my energy eating up the dead Fred cells. White blood cells appear to need a never-ending supply of energy. Thus there is none left for me to climb the stairs.
When I started this blog three days ago (remember the above point about fatigue - sometimes it means I start things like a post, and then just need to lie down and rest. Who knew typing could be so exhausting? Where was I? Oh yeah - so three days ago one of my side-effects was bi-polar bowels. Fun, huh? But apparently the Zofran has won the war, and constipation reigns. More fun. Let me tell you - sometimes I am totally overcome by the amount of fun this tumor is creating.
These are the three big ones. And nobody wants to talk about them (and seriously, do you blame them?) Now come the other ones. There is a lot of bloating and gas (can we have more fun here?) And my personal favourite - hair loss. Hmmm - this definitely goes in that WTMI [way to much information] category. So to be blunt - this is not the hair from my head peeps, it's what my Mum calls the 'short and curlies'. I personally think this is hysterical - I'm more of a juvenile than you ever imagined! And with that some 'sensitivity' in the "flappage" (this is my big sister's word peeps - urban dictionary. NOT FOR THE SENSITIVE OF YOU OUT THERE - I'M SERIOUS!!! I dare you to use it in a sentence this week!!!!!!!!!)
I'm also having a lot of trouble sleeping. Bizarre considering how exhausted I feel. And of course there is some pain. Some of it I am attributing to Fred dying, and others are from being on the table like a contortionist for an hour every day. Some of it will also depend on the area that you are being treated, so unfortunately for me that includes my hip and groin area.
Good news though is that I haven't had any of the skin burning that I was expecting. My thigh is hotter than the other one for a few hours after my treatment, but it has usually been back to normal by bed time (at the exceptionally late hour of 9:30!!!!I told you I was tired).
OK - so there you have it. If you got this far, I'm very sorry because it obviously means you need this information. (If it's because you love me - thanks!! I love you too - but I think you may know things about me that you wished you didn't)
Hugs
**** Just a little bit about why this post: I couldn't find this information after all of my very careful searching on the blogissphere, and I wanted to know. Doctors are notoriously understated about this stuff - perhaps they are scared we'll run away screaming? Anyway - I thought this might be helpful for any of you that may unfortunately need some of this type of information. I would have preferred to have been prepared more than I was! **** (Sincerity rant ended!!)
OK - onto the nitty gritty (still time to run - I won't be offended!)
OK - so for the sake of being downright truthful here, this has been the suckiest thing so far. Really. I cannot exaggerate this enough - I feel pukey most every moment of every day. And we are only one third of the way through. I have no idea how people do this and still manage to keep working - or just doing everyday things. It's gross and it's sucking my funness. Thank goodness I have my sunny disposition to fall back on (that was sarcasm peeps - it's getting hard to laugh this off - so you know it's getting bad!!)
Along with the sickness comes the fatigue. The doc tried to make this sound a little less brutal by calling it 'tiredness' - but this is life-sucking, "can't walk up the stairs" fatigue. Think of the last time you had a true, muscle-aching flu. Then multiply it by about 15. That should give you a bit of an idea of how tired I am. I am choosing to believe that's because all of my white blood cell "pac-men" are using all of my energy eating up the dead Fred cells. White blood cells appear to need a never-ending supply of energy. Thus there is none left for me to climb the stairs.
When I started this blog three days ago (remember the above point about fatigue - sometimes it means I start things like a post, and then just need to lie down and rest. Who knew typing could be so exhausting? Where was I? Oh yeah - so three days ago one of my side-effects was bi-polar bowels. Fun, huh? But apparently the Zofran has won the war, and constipation reigns. More fun. Let me tell you - sometimes I am totally overcome by the amount of fun this tumor is creating.
 |
| I'm definitely one of the two here.... |
These are the three big ones. And nobody wants to talk about them (and seriously, do you blame them?) Now come the other ones. There is a lot of bloating and gas (can we have more fun here?) And my personal favourite - hair loss. Hmmm - this definitely goes in that WTMI [way to much information] category. So to be blunt - this is not the hair from my head peeps, it's what my Mum calls the 'short and curlies'. I personally think this is hysterical - I'm more of a juvenile than you ever imagined! And with that some 'sensitivity' in the "flappage" (this is my big sister's word peeps - urban dictionary. NOT FOR THE SENSITIVE OF YOU OUT THERE - I'M SERIOUS!!! I dare you to use it in a sentence this week!!!!!!!!!)
I'm also having a lot of trouble sleeping. Bizarre considering how exhausted I feel. And of course there is some pain. Some of it I am attributing to Fred dying, and others are from being on the table like a contortionist for an hour every day. Some of it will also depend on the area that you are being treated, so unfortunately for me that includes my hip and groin area.
Good news though is that I haven't had any of the skin burning that I was expecting. My thigh is hotter than the other one for a few hours after my treatment, but it has usually been back to normal by bed time (at the exceptionally late hour of 9:30!!!!I told you I was tired).
OK - so there you have it. If you got this far, I'm very sorry because it obviously means you need this information. (If it's because you love me - thanks!! I love you too - but I think you may know things about me that you wished you didn't)
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| Go on - I give you permission |
Megan
Thursday, January 30, 2014
The Sucky Suck Sucky McSucky Day!
I know - I can hear you - "Well -obviously this is a gross understatement"!!!!!!
Hmmm - so it's probably not the worst day ever - but it was a pretty terrible rotten no good very bad day.
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| I've told you a million times before - I don't exaggerate! |
So Tuesday's treatment started out pretty promisingly. All of the 'films' (x-rays) were lining up, right until the very last one. Then it went all pear shaped.
My therapists just could not get me just right. So I was on the table for about an hour. And I was pretty potty about it too. Not pretty in "Oh isn't this orange shirt so pretty?" (a Southern USA accent helps here), but more like "Oh, isn't this week old, brown, grotty snow just so pretty?" No accent needed here, but imagine a deep sense of sarcasm will help immensely!!
Sometimes I let myself get a bit too invested in things that may or may not be grounded in reality peeps. This is my confession! After my super quick treatment on Friday, I just assumed that we had it down now and that all of my treatments would be zippy. Like I said - nowhere near grounded in reality.
And I think that is what was really getting to me. Because quite honestly, the last two (Wednesday and Thursday's) treatments have been the same level of suckiness. Maybe even worse. But once I had a reality check (ha - that might be the first time in the history of forever that I've been able to use that phrase correctly!), they just haven't seemed so bad.
Don't get me wrong - there is nothing fun about this process. But I am coming to terms with spending an hour on the table every day. And I just keep reminding myself that this is all to save my leg - so I can run a marathon! I'm coming to terms with the Olympic dreams fading away.... hahahahha.
And on other fantastic news - we are one third of the way done! Yay. Party time peeps!!
Till the next time - where there may or may not be Too Much Information,
Hugs
Megan
Saturday, January 25, 2014
The good ....... and the humiliating
And I gave myself an adorable Aboriginal print manicure.
So Friday started off as such a good day. Nancy came and collected me and we went off to St Joe's. Treatment was great - they got me all lined up and sorted so quickly that I was out within 30 minutes - SCORE! (BTW if you are after a prayer request, that's it - that I would position myself and then my techs would get me lined up very quickly. That's what takes the longest time on the table)
After we got home, Nancy and I were having a lovely visit - and BAM. Things went downhill fast. Like a roller coaster fast.
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| whoever 'they' are, they have some 'splaining to do! |
So needless to say, Friday night I was not up to much partying!
This morning I thought that because I didn't have a treatment, I would have loads of energy to go shopping. You've guessed by now that I was dead wrong!
I'm having a bit of trouble getting into Piet's car - my hip really doesn't like to do anything really!
So I hobbled around Sports Authority with Will's arm to help me. More hobbling at Kohl's (netting me some cute new tops though!!) and we still had Target to hit up.
Cue the humiliation....
I thought that it moved just as slowly as I was - but no, Will assured me that it was actually going a 'bit faster'.
So there you have it - after only a week of treatment I've turned into an old lady. Will's getting in some 'nanna' training - although he's already learnt to be sweet enough to assure me that "you're not old Mum, don't say that". Isn't he adorable? He's my favorite son!
Overall - today will go down as one of the suckiest in history.
Hugs
Megan
Thursday, January 23, 2014
One week down peeps!
Didn't that go by quickly? (we are NOT talking about the five more to go!!)
After the horrible experience of the first treatment, we have settled in to a more manageable routine with my technicians. They are fantastic - which is probably good seeing as they have to see my naked butt every day!!!!
The worst part of the treatment is still getting into the right position for the treatment. We giggle and wriggle and move me around millimeter by milliliter. Then the x-rays start and I'm moved around a bit again millimeter until I am in the perfect spot to finally get my treatment. They still don't hurt, or feel at all, but I am starting to get some side effects. My skin has started to get a bit pink, and I'm starting to get some fatigue. But by far the worst side effect has been the nausea. Horrid.
Enter Zofran - my new best friend! This wonder drug keeps the sickness at bay so that I don't feel like I need to chuck every moment of every day.
I haven't had a cup of coffee for FOUR DAYS!!!
| I just feel dead - I really hope you haven't spoken to me over the past 4 days!!! |
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| Boy - it's been painful for me anyway!!! |
I am also getting a bit sore in the hip joint - so walking, especially right after the treatment, is painful. I look like an old lady. Helped immensely when the Doc today suggested I may need to use a walking stick if my leg keeps 'collapsing' on me. (That happened yesterday afternoon - luckily the Princess was with me and could keep me upright!)
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| I may need to start my own collection. |
Stay tuned - there is far more than you ever wanted to know coming up!!
Hugs
Megan
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