Living in the "I don't know".

Here's the video about not knowing.

You can go directly to it on YouTube here.

I'm feeling a lot better physically today - but my poor family did get a dose of my 'grumps'!

Hugs
Megan

Monday was a bad day...

..so of course I vlogged it for you!

You can see it here if you can't play this.

The weekend had been a bit busier than normal (have to celebrate ANZAC Day!), but I really don't know what happened to make me feel so badly. Other than the chemo of course...

So now you know that I'm not rocking this whole chemo thing as much as I was hoping. But honestly, if I only have a day like that every 6 weeks or so, I'll cope. So many other people have so many worse symptoms.

And I still have my hair.

For now.

But a funny link is OK too. Right?

Hugs
Megan

Another overdue update - this one's about chemo!

So I finally managed to get another video up onto YouTube for you!

If you can't see the player above, click here to go directly to YouTube.

It's easier for me to do a video (as long as I can keep them short) so I hope you don't mind seeing my face again!

Give it a like - it makes me feel all gooey and mushy (kinda like the end of the video!!)

Hugs
Megan

February video is up!

Another video for you!

This one is only 4 minutes - so just the bare bones of what happened over the past month.

hugs
Megan

I made another YouTube video for you all!

I think it might be laziness - but you all seemed to appreciate 'seeing' me last time, that I decided to do it again!

This one catches you up on last week's visits to the oncologist and surgeon.Not giving anything away here - so you'l have to watch and see what's going on!

If you can't see the video below, give a click here and it will take you straight there!

So thanks for checking in, I'll 'see' you later!

Hugs,
Megan

SURPRISE!!!!

Hiya! Here's an update for you, I did something special for you this time, and made a You Tube video! 

But be warned - it's LONG! 20 minutes LONG. So get a cuppa ready! But you'll get an update from me in a semi personal way, along with all of the ums and ahs, and staring off into the distance. I'm not too sure that I covered all that I wanted to, so maybe another one is needed (with some editing training!)

Sorry that this has taken so very long - but it's a new year and I will try to be better in keeping you in the loop as to what is going on...Let's get together a bit more this year, OK?

If you make it through the video, and you want me to do some more, give it a thumbs up and subscribe and that will let me know that you liked it. Leave me some feedback on any questions you have, or anything really.

If you can't see me below (or if you are on an iPad apparently) you might need to click here.

Happy Hugs

Megan

I just don'e even know what to say....

But first off, you know the drill. Ignore my unexplained absence and forgive me.
Probably the best way to deal with my inconsistency is to know that I am apt to fall into times of 'funkness' and I just withdraw.(Not to be confused with Funky Town - coolest place of the 80's!)  If I can't make you laugh, I don't want to be 'seen'!

Come on - you know you want to go too!

Now onto the serious side of Fred. And the reason for the title. We went to see the Dr (radiation oncologist) on Wednesday. I had the first of the follow up MRIs last week and we went to get the good news that the radiation worked and Fred was dead - NOT.

For a meeting with not a whole lot of information, and a LOT of me huffing (you might not have noticed that that minor tremble Wednesday lunch time was caused by my extreme vent of desperate frustration ).

The scan showed nothing. Well - really that nothing has changed. I was kinda expecting that. There's still too much pain and lack of motion for it to have been totally gone. But our hope was high for some good news.

That's what it felt like!!!!

There was talk of needing to wait until a year to see any real results. WHAT? You don't have to try hard to imagine how I dealt with that, do you? More huffing and a bit of eye rolling may have happened at this point.

We chatted a bit about whether any drug therapy would help (not yet - maybe after 3 or 5 years. MmmmHmmm - happiness ensued here too!)

We did some clarification on the scans though  - there is no distinction between live and dead Fred. So just because it is the same size doesn't necessarily mean that he hasn't died. Hey - we are clinging to anything right now peeps.

Words were also spoken of just having Fred stable as being a good outcome. Really? I think not.

Then - our world was shaken...

..a bit like this.

We made a joke about just lopping off the leg and getting a 'fake' one. Amputation jokes are always appropriate with your Doc, no?

The answer apparently is no.

No to the joke being funny.

No to it being appropriate.

And NO to it being possible.

All of this time we had really been thinking that if everything goes pear shaped, the worse that will happen is a prosthetic.

Umm - no. The amputation that Fred would require would take so much of my leg - well, all of it really, that there would not be anything left to place a prosthetic to.

So, needless to say that my mind has been in a whirl since then. As attached as I am to my leg, I had come to terms with the thought of a prosthetic. Not really something we were looking forward to, but as worst case scenario, a livable option.

So to say that there just isn't enough chocolate in the world to help me through this is not an exaggeration!

My thoughts are all over the place. I can't get a handle on what all of this means. Does it mean that how I am now is as good as it gets?

Many conflicting and confusing feels right now. I'll let you know when I get some sort of clarity, deal?

Like. Just like!

Until the next time I reappear,

Hugs

Megan